Bruce is taking good care of me these days. Hes the one person you can always depend on ... even in weather like this. When everything else goes out ... like the stereo Bubby Doestein gave me for my Bar Mitzvah 20 years ago ... Bruce still plays on, for that god forsaken battery-powered tape player doesn't depend on the electricity like the other un-self sufficient IDIOT appliances in my walk up. You know sometimes, honestly, I have to get on my knees and act like I know what I'm doing in order to give respect to my toilet. Toilets aren't Jewish ... why would G-d choose them? SO, they don't know that when I am on my knees with my elbows inches apart and hands clasped holding each other like the hands of two people in love that I have no f***g idea what I'm supposed to be doing down there ... like what I'm supposed to say ... I don't pray to idols ... usually ... I mean it's not within the guidelines of my religion ... BUT it is within the respect of my budget so I do it in order to avoid a visit from the plumber, Doc.
Shit do I feel bad for that fat kid ... Jeb that I met in the elevator the other day. I know I have to go up like 5 more floors than him, but I am not carrying 90% body fat. I think he said he gained something like 20 lbs.? What a schmuck ... except I bet he's not ... HES F***G HUGE! The elevator not working is probably the worst thing that could happen to him ... he doesn't deserve it. So he's probably definitely not taking up that invite for LS tonight ... he couldn't make it up here.
Taking all things into consideration, like the fact that the only appliance that is working right now is my tape player, which at this rate I will probably marry because Bubby Doestien doesn't have much time and she wants to do the hora one more time before she you know .., the meeting tonight might be a little ... dark.
So what about lyric interpretation? "Nothing man" has a lot of underlying meaning ... AND let's not forget a side of self worthlessness ... WHICH could lead to a detour roof-top visit. Fuck. I am so tired of seeing people jump ... I mean at least with the sleet and freezing temperatures maybe this time something different could happen ... like a slip instead of just a JUMP. BUT that is totally last resort worst case scenario ...
Just saying though ... I mean if someone WERE to do it ... and tonight is one of those nasty nights where it's just written in the sky "SOMEONE WILL DO IT," it would just be much appreciated if I could have a different story for the doctors and family.
O.k. no "Nothing man." No one is doing it tonight on my watch ... and YES ... THAT is battery run, too.
How about something positive ... likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ... cheese. Shit, what if someone is allergic. Lactose intolerance these days is way to freaking common.
Future plans? Like traveling? OFCOURSE!!!! Not. No one travels anymore.
I need something that has to do with LIFE .. c'mon JOHN ... this is LIFE SUPPORT ... not BOREDOM support, or FOOD support ...
Why the hell do I run these meetings again?
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